The Apple Of God's Eye

February 23, 2010

Keep Love In Marriage Alive

Filed under: Marriage — melchia @ 11:00 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

How many people today treat a marriage partner like a roommate – as disposable. The flame goes out and years of marriage, perhaps children, love, sweat, toil and heartache, all for a piece of paper that says “divorced.”

Marriage is like a hot coffeepot placed on a cold stove — it soon cools off. Unless we take precautions, that can happen. But cooled-off love can be rekindled, and relationships can be restored.

1.   “Remember” is the first step. God gave us memories. We must live in the present, but we dream of the future and we learn valuable truths from the past.

2.   “Repent” is the second step. Love includes being able to say you’re sorry and really mean it. When was the last time you said “I’m sorry”? Forgiveness is an integral part of every good marriage. We can easily wrong others — even the one we love most intimately.

We need to change — to constantly strive to improve. Sometimes even little habits can greatly annoy our mate. We should be sensitive and willing to adjust. Some, when offended, react with resentment and punishments. They hold grudges. They want to get even — even if only by sulking. Anybody can act that way. Remember: God will forgive our trespasses only as we forgive those who have wronged us (Matthew 6:12). So don’t let the sun go down on your anger (Eph. 4:26).

Some of the nicest words we can hear — music to our ears — come in a three-word sentence: “I forgive you.” The Bible says that when God forgives us our sins, He remembers them no more. In other words, even though He has the power of complete and instant recall, He chooses to completely forget them.

What an example of forgiveness. When one forgives the other, he or she blocks the incident out of his or her mind and promises never to bring it up again. Those who genuinely forgive have grasped the deeper meaning of love.

3.   Finally, the third step: We must do the works we did at the beginning, to think about the person who captured our heart years ago.

In my case, I drove out of my way to see my future wife. I searched for time to be with her, and I always found it. I looked for ways to surprise her. I didn’t need a special day or holiday — every day in young love was special, and reason enough for celebration.

Probably one of the most welcome, emotion-tingling phrases any marriage partner can utter is, “I remembered the moment, the event, the day.” If you say “I forgot” to your love mate, you’re telling a lot about yourself. This is what kills the sparks of love. Evaluate your marriage. How are you doing?

Here are some easy ways to help us remember:

Pay attention. Believe what your mate is doing or saying is the most important thing at the moment. When he or she says something, repeat it to yourself. Write it down. Reread it. Work at it daily.

What are those items you should always remember? Anniversaries, favorite gift items, sizes of clothing, most desired foods and entertainment. Little things are always important in marriage and should never be forgotten. Ask God to help you to remember.

Love takes work

Love does not grow without proper cultivation and hard work. Scripture tells us: “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap” (Galatians 6:7).

The choice is ours. Love is as strong as we make it. Love is building for eternity. Keep your love growing and alive!

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